The Viable Alternative

So yesterday, Day “whatever” of the quarantine, as I was winding down and getting ready to go to bed, I felt a bit disappointed with myself because I felt I didn’t accomplish muchthat day.

However, to be honest, this was more about my joy of beating myself up than the actual truth because I have been keeping myself occupied with constructive activities other than hanging out on social media. I’ve been keeping to my morning routine of prayer, meditation, stretching, affirmations, and listening to inspiring YouTube videos. I’ve also been eating healthy, exercising, journaling, reading and engaging with positive proactive people who are trying to use this situation as a way to grow.

Anyway, as I was beating myself up, I stopped and thought about how a person responds to the COVID-19 situation reveals a lot about who a person is which is a result of where they’ve been, what they been through and what they did about both. That led me to reflect about where I’ve been and what I been through during my entire existence on this planet, and what were the 12 major things I learned thus far.

So, here goes my list of 12 Things I’ve Learned about Life.

1. Positivity is overrated

Positive thinking is great and all, but sometimes people use that to avoid reality or suppress their feelings. There are times when you’re frustrated, or pissed off and you’re allowed to vent about it in a healthy way without guilt for a period of time for the purpose of getting it off your chest and then moving on. The key is to acknowledge whatever you’re feeling, even if it’s negative, and find a constructive way to deal with it for what it is, rather than sugar coat things by pretending everything is okay or going the other extreme and allowing it to consume you. Sometimes things are not okay, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.

2. Never hate anyone.

This was my first life lesson I got when I was 20 years old and probably should be #1, but I’m too lazy to switch these around. Anyway, before I learned this lesson, I thought the best way to get back at all the people who hurt me in the past was just to hate them as revenge and to prove to them that I’m no longer their victim. However, the truth is, when you choose to hate someone, you remain their victim, and it hurts you more than it hurts them. The best thing to do is let go of any hurt and hate and go create a fulfilling, happy life for yourself.

3. Appoint your own self the right to be successful.

This is my mantra, as I’ve repeated it so many times in this blog, on social media and in my videos. The best way to take control over your destiny is to appoint yourself the right to do, be and have what you want in life rather than wait for the permission of others. This was the other insight that changed me from an angst ridden, hateful, victim minded teenager to a young adult who felt he had some control over his life.

4. Faith is a supernatural power.

People like to bandy around the word, “faith,” because it sounds great, however, I’ve seen Faith in whatever Supernatural Being you believe in do some amazing things in people’s lives including my own.

5. Thinking is overrated

Man, I was the one who used to swear by thinking alone and would say, “Screw your feelings.” However, if you just focus on thinking and ignore your feelings, you’re missing out on a huge component of who you are. Connecting to your feelings puts you in touch with your creativity, your spontaneity, your creativity, your sensuality and your ability to connect to others. When you find someone who is focused on thinking, you find a person who’s trapped in his head, robotic and cut off from the rest of who he is. We are NOT our thoughts.

6. Learn to fall in love with your own company.

The reason why people put up with abusive or toxic friendships and romantic relationships is because they’re afraid of being alone and they hate their own company. When you learn how to fall in love with yourself by taking yourself on dates, traveling alone to places where you’ve never been, spending alone time with yourself engaging in activities that you personally enjoy, you gain an appreciation of yourself that you can now share with others from a healthy place.

7. Your pain and struggle is often your purpose

You see that struggle that you’ve been dealing with for years that you can’t seem to overcome and gets the best of you in such a way that you often say, “Why me?” You have that issue or “thorn in your side” because YOU were meant to share with others in a similar situation the wisdom and lessons you learned from dealing with said issue. Your trials and tribulations are your training ground to prepare to be of value to others.

8. Jealousy is a complete WASTE of time.

I have many faults. As a matter of fact, we can have a content packed weekend seminar talking about my faults. However, I can confidently admit that jealousy is not one of them. I figured out early on that rather than be jealous of someone else, you can channel that energy to use that person as an inspiration to go and get the things you want in life that are meant for you.

9. Time DOES NOT Heal all wounds.

Time may heal physical wounds, but it does not heal emotional wounds. Rather, time buries them so that the person may no longer be aware of them while it still runs his or her life. If you have any doubt as to what I’m saying, take a trip to the penitentiaries, the criminal and divorce courts, the AA groups and the drug rehab centers. There, you’ll find a whole bunch of people who are in pain from emotional wounds from their childhood that have yet to be healed by time.

10. Transformation most often is a step by step process.

I used to think that transformation happened with one stark realization and then BAM, the person’s life is changed forever. While that does happen, in most cases, a person gets some life shifting insight that propels them to take consistent steps over a period of time that, over the long haul, transforms their lives, or, a person becomes inspired to accomplish something, and over period of time, by taking consistent steps, he or she transforms into a different person.

11. Some people aren’t allowed to settle.

I’ve seen it. Some people have a talent or skill, and rather than make use of it, they get an unrelated job and go through life only dabbling with their talent here and there, and life just leaves them alone. Then, there are those who have a talent or skill, and they try to settle for doing something else, and EVERYTHING fails in their life until they make use of that talent skill. I don’t know why, but God won’t let some people settle.

12. Follow your God

Okay, WTH? Well, I’ve seen and heard of people who converted from Christianity to Islam because they found Islam more fulfilling. I’ve also heard of vice versa, Muslims who became Christians because they were more fulfilled by it. There are many stories of people that have found a spiritual path that works for them after years of searching and dissatisfaction with other paths they tried. Are these people supposedly evil or sinful for finding something that was fulfilling to them over something else? I’ve also found people to live by a certain moral code because they know in their heart God wants them to live that way, and they experience punishment when they break those rules, while there are others who also have a strong relationship with God who do the same things that the other person got punished for and nothing happens to that person. Not everyone is meant to go down the same spiritual path or religion, and each person is meant to have their own unique relationship with God each with its own rules that no person can judge except for God. So, find the Path God meant for you and walk it.

BONUS: It usually costs and takes longer than we originally planned.

Whenever we have a goal or set out for an endeavour, there are usually things that come up that we couldn’t foresee and we didn’t plan for that are out of our control that causes the project to take more time and cost more money than expected. One of those things that come up are people. We need people to help us get things done but they are variables that we can’t control.

There goes my list and now I feel accomplished enough not to beat myself up tonight as I go to bed.

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps,

Ike Love