The Viable Alternative

I’ve recounted in several past blogs how discovering the concept of self appointment, one of the four pillars of The Viable Alternative, at the age of 20 changed me from an angry, miserable, bitter, hateful teen who felt like he was shut out of the party called life and was always on the outside looking in to a man who felt a sense of empowerment over his own destiny and that the world was his.

Self appointment is all about giving yourself the permission to be, do or have whatever you desire rather than waiting from the outside permission from others to give you the right to be, do or have whatever you desire.

Self appointment is the audacity to be great on your own terms and to be as bold as you want to be.

One of the initial requirements to start your path to greatness is to first tell it to yourself to be great. Every person who has done something great in one way or another had this.

Your SELF is waiting for you to give it the permission to be great, but the reason you’re not doing it is because there are some factors that are getting in your way.

Here are three major factors that block us from being great.

1. The Opinions of Others

   I’ve mentioned it before on other posts. In the seventh and eighth grades in Middle School, I noticed that all the kids who were cool were cool because they were popular and “approved of” by other cool kids. Though I wanted to be in that clique so badly, I was definitely NOT considered one of the cool kids. I instead was called a complete loser by most of the cool kids and basically was told I wasn’t allowed to do or say, or wear certain cool things because I wasn’t cool enough.

   It was then I concluded that in order for me to be cool and be, do or have the things I desired in life, I needed others permission.

   In other words, I felt my success depended on the external approval of others.

   As I got older and progressed into my late teens, when I sought out the external validation of the world at large to be, do or have the things I wanted in life and didn’t get it, I became very resentful, angry and bitter at the world.

   However, at 20 years old, when I started to step out of myself and realize that as an individual, I had something you unique to offer that no one else did, that I had gifts and talents that could be developed in their own unique, great way, and despite what anyone else said, it was in MY own power to give myself the right give my unique gifts to the world, my sense of being a victim of others’ opinions changed and my life began to change.

   I was now able to acquire the life I wanted.

   Listening to external opinion takes the power that you have within you to appoint yourself the right to be successful.

   Most people are afraid to be, do or have what they want because they feel they don’t have the “proper” permission from others.

   I don’t give a damn what negative things people have said or do say about you in terms of how your looks, your talent, your capabilities, your worthiness, or anything else in regards to you being successful, that can all be nullified by saying, “Despite what anyone else thinks or says about me, I give my own self the right to be, do or have what I want. I’m worthy because I say I’m worthy, that’s all I need.”

   ..and then you get up, and boldly go after what’s yours.

2. Internal Dialog

   Up until now, I’ve talked about self appointment being a matter of shunning external opinion and seeking validation within in terms of being successful, but what happens when due to your own negative beliefs, insecurities, fears, doubts, etc, you can’t get that internal validation needed to appoint yourself the right to be successful?

   That was my life until very recently.

   When I discovered I could appoint my own self the right to be successful rather than seek the permission of others, I had a good run for a few years, but after a failed relationship that I came down hard on myself for, I concluded I was a horrible person and stopped trusting myself, and as a result became stuck in my head where I was afraid to do anything without thoroughly analyzing and assessing it first.

   Disconnected from my true core self and now totally relying on my ego, which was a assortment of negative voices and aspects of my childhood, namely an emotionally abusive father, I became stiff, nervous, inhibited and completely unsure of myself.

   Rather than get the internal support and validation I needed to appoint myself the right to be successful, I instead had to listen to constantly being told all the reason why I wasn’t allowed to be successful for reasons ranging from me not being good enough, to me having made certain mistakes which disqualified my chances to be successful, to me not having suffered enough, to me not having analyzed or figured things out enough, etc, etc.

   This would ring in my head on a constant basis and made for a truly hellish existence that lasted for years on end that sometimes made me want to end my life.

   The problem I had is that I confused the nonsense going on in my mind as the REAL me and gave all my power away to it. Through initially energy healing for a number of years, and now body oriented therapy, I’m in the process of disconnecting from my ego and connecting to my TRUE self with whom the power lies to appoint myself to be successful.

   When you’re attached to all the negative internal dialog going on in your head comprised of the negative things your parents, teachers, friends, family members, etc told you as a child, you’ll never be able to appoint yourself the right to be successful, because in the eyes of your ego, you’ll never be good enough for success.

   Various methods such as meditation, yoga, therapy and journaling can serve to disconnect you from your ego and reconnect you to your core self so you can take back your power.

3. External Circumstances

   There’s a certain feeling of power and confidence that comes when things are going well financially. You don’t have to worry about where you’re going to get the money to pay your bills, if you have projects you want to work on, you don’t have to worry about not having enough money to complete them, and you feel lighter and less worrisome.

   You feel successful.

   For years I’ve struggled with money. In my past, every time it seemed as if I was going to get a breakthrough, something would fall through. After this happened repeatedly, I adopted the attitude that I would start feeling more successful and confident when I start having better “luck” with money.

   Well, I’m tired of waiting for my “luck,” to change. I’ve come to the conclusion within the past few weeks that if I want my money situation to change, I have to change. Thus, I will no longer sit around waiting for my circumstances surrounding money to improve, rather, no matter what my circumstances look like, I CHOOSE to think and BE successful.

   I appoint myself the right to be successful despite what my “luck” or my circumstances look like. Hell, even if I die with nothing happening in my life, at least I’ll be put into my casket with me still having appointed myself the right to be great instead of giving my circumstances power over me and making them my god.

   In life, we often don’t have control over our circumstances, and even when we’re having a “bad streak” or a slump for an extended period of time, we should never, ever give power over them to determine our greatness.

   Screw your circumstances, and appoint yourself the right to be great anyway. I bet you, as a result, your circumstances will begin to turn around, and if for the slightest chance that they don’t, at least you kept your God given power to appoint yourself the right to be successful.

4. The People You Associate With

   When I describe self appointment, I’ve mainly said that you look to yourself to appoint yourself the right to be successful. Well, I stand by that, but there’s twist to this. The people you associate with can help empower you to give yourself the permission to be successful.

   When you continuously hang out with broke, unhealthy, negative, unambitious people, not only do they serve as a consistent reflection of how you see yourself, but also, they reinforce your perception of reality.

   You and those you associate with all engage in similar behaviour that produces similar results that create the reality you live in and what you expect from it.

   To create a different reality you have to do things differently, but most people stay stuck in the same reality because through their environment, which includes the people they associate with,they either don’t think there’s anything better or that anything better is possible.

   However, if you were to remove yourself from your current association and associate with people who are doing things or living in a way you never thought possible, you’ll sooner or later start to see that these people really are not doing anything miraculous like turning water into wine or walking on water, but rather, what they’re doing is totally ordinary and commonplace for people who are a part of that circle.

   Eventually, their reality will become so commonplace in your mind that you’ll start to see it as possible for yourself and you’ll wind up giving yourself the permission to achieve the same things in your life.

   Associating with others who are smarter, more daring, more ambitious and successful than we are gives us a mental space to appoint our own selves the right to do bigger and better things.

   I’ve heard successful people say over and over again, “You become the five people you spend the most time with,” and also, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

   Being around the wrong people can block you from giving yourself the permission to be successful, but being around the right people can make it a lot easier.

Hope this helps.

This is The Viable Alternative.

Ike Love