Have You Ever Taken a GOOD Look at Yourself?
So, in the past few weeks I noticed something that I tend to do.
I noticed that when I get a compliment, my response is to put myself down.
Someone would say to me something like “I love your shirt,” and my response would be, “Eh…but the collar is dirty.” Or someone would compliment me about a workout video I posted on social media, and I’d be like, “Eh. My form was terrible.” Or I would get a compliment about a blog I had written, and I’d immediately report, “Eh…it was a little bit long winded.”
Ugh! I almost threw up in my mouth.
As a matter of fact, even more pathetically, when I did my first Facebook live interview back in December that was about “Emotional Availability,” I asked the host during the interview whether she knew of any men who were both emotionally aware and masculine (since a lot of women complain that all the emotionally aware men they meet are too feminine for them), and when she pointed to me as an example of one, it took every ounce of strength in my body to keep myself from vehemently disagreeing with her and telling her how much of a mess I really am…lol
Yes, I know, I’m a piece of work. Please pray for me.
This undoubtedly comes from my childhood, growing up with a father who was difficult if not impossible to please, and who would always find fault with any and everything I did. What was worse was the times when I was proud of an accomplishment of mine, he’d come and ruin my entire mood with a disparaging remark at some perceived slight ending with him calling me stupid or useless or him asking me why I couldn’t do anything right.
Other times, when I did manage to get his approval and his praise for something I did “right,” because his moods were so erratic, though it felt good getting his approval, there was also this uneasiness because I didn’t know how long my favour with him would last.
Thus, as a survival mechanism, I learned to knock myself down when things seemed good so as not to think too high of myself. Fast forward to this current day and age, this is why I tend to put myself down when someone compliments me.
This no doubt explains why I have a lot of struggles with feeling as if I deserve the things I want in life and why when it seems as if I’m about to get the things I want, it triggers HUGE amounts of anxiety and guilt within me, which in turn has led me to sabotage myself.
Lovely huh?
Well actually, it is lovely because at least now, I’m beware of my behaviour and where it comes from, so I’m no longer fighting blind, doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. With this awareness, I can see who’ve I’ve been being and be able to make the necessary changes needed to produce different results in my life.
Indeed, self awareness is a wonderful tool that we can use to change our lives and get us off the damn hamster wheel that has us going nowhere and has our lives looking the same year in and year out.
Have you ever taken a good look at yourself and wondered why you do what you do and why you keep on getting the same results that you complain about?
- Why do you keep on attracting all the losers, psychos and sociopaths?
- Why are you not happy?
- Why do you always have drama in your life?
- Why are you always getting into arguments with people?
- Why are you unhealthy?
…feel free to insert any other question about the discontent you have in your life
In other words, WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY DOING AND WHY DO YOU DO IT?
Most people walking around this planet are on autopilot and never take the time for introspection, and if some well meaning friend, family member or romantic partner tries to wake them up to who they are and what they’re doing, they become angry and wind up biting their head off. However, the key to getting from where you are now to where you want to be is learning how to get out of your own way, and the key to getting out of your own way is learning how you’re in your way in the first place, and that’s where self-awareness comes in.
Stop running, sit down, relax, and take the time to REALLY honestly look at yourself. It’ll change your life.
This is The Viable Alternative.
Hope this helps,
Ike Love
