The Viable Alternative

In the early morning of June 21, 2022, I finished a trip with my first heroic dose of psilocybin mushrooms. I started around 8:50ish PM EST and it wound down at 1:30 AM, so it was around 5 hours. Due to prior experiences with the plant, listening to the accounts of others who’ve used it for healing purposes, sitting with my uncomfortable feelings in the sauna, and having learned how to use the tools of Emotional Welcoming and Revealing taught by a company called Fearless, I was able to make the best of this trip and have my best experience yet, though it was quite intense and at times I wasn’t sure my body could take all the emotional and spiritual processing.

Since I finished the trip early this morning, there’s a lot of processing and integrating that needs to be done for me to really be able to give a full account of my experience and share the benefits I received. After ingesting the mushrooms and saying a prayer and setting an intention of healing the cause of my money issues, getting more insight about my life journey and healing shame with women, I took the advice of Terrance (R.I.P.) and Dennis McKenna and sat in the dark by myself . I also promised myself that I was gonna take advantage of this trip by FULLY welcoming and feeling any emotion that came up that I otherwise wouldn’t feel had I not taken the plant medicine.

During the trip, I cried uncontrollably several times like a baby as I felt the medicine pull from deep within my body (I felt it coming from my gut) old stored up emotions. I also was connected to the deep sadness and pain of my father, who passed away last year, when he was a child and dealing with his own trauma. It gave me a new perspective of the issues I had with from him because I now saw this scared, little child that drove his behaviour. It gave me a lot of love and empathy towards him. I felt the intergenerational trauma passed on to me by my Dad and beyond. I experienced what one would describe as an exorcism as I felt demons leaving my body with screams and uttering, deep, guttural sounds. My underlying anxiety and fear that was always playing in the background was brought to the front and I allowed myself to fully feel and experience it instead of run from it. I got to experience in STEREO my body letting go of emotions that came up that I welcomed. Literally, I would experience the FULL sensation and spectrum of the emotion and feel my expunge it from every fiber of my being. What’s even more crazy, I experienced my body let go of energy patterns which I would describe as clusters of emotions that showed up as habitual behaviours. I’ve been through some shyte over the years that I haven’t shared, but this last one I’ve never experienced before. Most important of all, in this trip, out of all my other trips, despite the intensity I was experiencing, I truly felt safe, loved and cared for and am left with a lot more love for humanity.

All in all, I viscerally feel lighter as if I’ve let go of some baggage. In the coming days and weeks, I hope to share any major insights or breakthroughs that came from this (I say “hope” because I may change my mind and am trying to stay in integrity ).Also, for all you Bible thumping Christians who want to spout this as “demonic” or “sinful,” I try to always put God first and seek His Guidance, so I said a prayer to Him before I started and after I finished, in Christ’s name. What was beautiful about the whole thing was that as I was praying to conclude my trip, I felt the presence of what could only be Jesus in my heart and the assurance He was with me the entire time. It was amazing and healing. I consider myself spiritual and NOT religious and don’t think that church is the only way to find God. I always say seek His Guidance and if He says you should try something like this, go for it, and if He says no, don’t.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. This is being posted for “entertainment” purposes only. If you have a history of psychosis I would stay away from this or at the very least, consult a Doctor/Therapist. Also, if you’ve never done this before, I would advise doing it with a licensed therapist who’s familiar with this and not doing it alone.