The Viable Alternative

Growing up an ethnically ambiguous kid and a second generation immigrant, one of my sole desires growing up was to fit and blend in with everyone else, namely because I felt I stuck out so much and always felt I was on the outside looking in.

I always observed others to take cues on what it was like to be like everyone else. I would copy their mannerisms, how they spoke, how they dressed, and sometimes, if they had a differing view than me, I would take up theirs.

Truth be told, non of what I did externally ever served to make me feel more like I fit in, because the problem was not about fitting in, rather it was about me accepting who I was as a unique individual, just like everyone else walking this planet.

Finally, just when I was about to turn 20 something clicked in my head.

I had started spending a lot of time with friends I had met in college, and friends of their friends. I had generally looked up to these guys and thought of them as “cool” because they were good looking, dressed well, and were successful with women.

What I had noticed about each of these guys was that they each had their own quirks, their own unique personalities, their own personal flair, and probably the most profound of these, they each had a different gift that made them successful in the SAME area.

In other words, there were area where one was good at where the other wasn’t and vice versa.

I also noticed that if you looked below the surface, their success was actually unique to the individual.

A light bulb went off in my head and I began to ask myself, “Okay, so if each of these guys have their own unique gifts that make them successful in the areas where I would like to have success, what gifts do I have that can make me successful in the same area? Also, if I used these gifts, what would my own success look like?”

This insight was what was to become the first pillar of The Viable Alternative, self realization, which is the realization that you are a unique individual with your own unique mix of resources and treasures to offer to the world that no one else has to offer.

This started the wheels turning in my head that it was better to stand out of the crowd rather than sit in, and ironically, made me feel less alienated from the world.

I find it utterly fascinating how among the people in the upper echelons of different industries whether it be in sports like the NFL, NBA, or Major League Baseball, or Entertainment, or the Financial arena each have their own unique set of gifts that got them there.

For instance, take the top contenders of professional boxing. Some got where they are because of their speed, others because of their strength, others because of their stamina, others because of their intelligence, others because of their great defense, etc., etc.

Even with those who are gifted in the same area, they still show up differently because each individual applies them in a different way that’s unique to the individual.

You become great not by trying to hide yourself in order to fit in, but rather from celebrating yourself by learning to stand out.

You stand out when you share with the world who you are without apology. This is what all the great ones that you admire have been able to do.

You may think it takes more energy to stand out because you make yourself susceptible to criticism, ridicule and scorn. However I say this, it takes MUCH more energy to fit in, because by fitting in, you have to squelch the yearnings and flow of your spirit, and suppress its natural inclinations and desires. Going against what’s natural is not only exhausting, but also unhealthy.

As the saying goes, “A hope deferred makes a heart go sick.”

Plus why would you care about the opinions of a bunch of people who are sitting in the stands watching other people “play” because they’re too afraid to try themselves?

It is fitting in, NOT standing out that’s weird.

Know that because you’re a unique individual like no one else, whatever gift, talent or ability you have will automatically show up more uniquely than anyone else with the same gift in a way that people may try to imitate but can never copy because no one can be you better than you. This uniqueness, YOUR uniqueness is what enables you to leave a legacy and be remembered for generations to come.

….and those disabilities, quirks, idiosyncrasies and flaws you have that make you want to hide? Those are what will make you more memorable and thus give you a much greater impact.

This is The Viable Alternative/

Hope this helps,

Ike Love