The Viable Alternative

As kids, when we saw kids playing in the playground or the schoolyard and for the reason of acceptance, companionship, human connection or because whatever they were doing just looked fun, we wanted to join them, so we would ask them, “Could I play?” and if they said “No,” we would run off crying because they won’t let us play with them.

In our limited world, we saw these kids as holding a certain key to a part of our livelihood, and by refusing to give us permission to play, they had an adverse effect on it.

That was an unfortunate experience I dealt with many a time in school, and it wasn’t fun.

The problem is, we take this behaviour into adulthood and are still think we need to ask people to “play” in order to do the things we want to do.

• If you’re Black, Hispanic, or Asian, you think you need permission from White people to play.
• If you’re a woman, you think you need permission from men to play.
• If you’re disabled, you think you need permission from able bodied people to play.
• If you’re a musician, you think you need permission from a record label to play.
• If you’re an actor, you think you need the permission from Hollywood to play.
• If you have a dream, you think you need the permission of your parents or peers to play.
• As a general human being walking this planet, you think you need the permission of “everyone” else to play in terms of being your authentic self.

What we were never taught as a kid and thus often never realize as an adult is that we don’t need anyone’s permission to “play.” If others won’t give us the permission to play with them, that shouldn’t stop us from playing in this world. We can give our own selves the permission to “play with ourselves” and use our wonderful imagination to create a reality that inspires and fulfills you (if your mind is wandering here, get your mind out of the gutter, I don’t mean THAT type of play, though whatever you choose to do is your business as long as it’s not hurting anyone).

After being mad at the world for years for not letting me play, one of the most freeing things I learned at the age of 20 years old is that you don’t need anyone’s permission to play. I realized that instead of trying to jump on someone else’s bandwagon, I can create my own bandwagon and decide who I wanted to let onto it. Instead of trying to get a seat on someone else’s table, I can create my own table with my own agenda and decide who I wanted to join. If there was something I wanted, I didn’t have to wait around from someone to tell me whether or not I was allowed to get it, I can give my own self the permission and go and get it. This realization freed me from the mindset of victimhood and being angry at the world.

So, no more need to be sitting on the sidelines living in yearning and frustration because “they” won’t let you play. Take your dreams, your gifts, and your imagination, and get out there and play anyway because YOU said you have the right to do so!

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps,

Ike Love