The Viable Alternative

Have you ever had that experience when you make a firm resolution and sincere resolution to finally deal with and improve a dysfunctional area in your life and everything just falls apart???

You expect that because of this resolution, things will start to fall into place but it does the exact opposite, almost in a cruel, mocking way.

I mean what the hell??

I remember back in the mid 2000s, when I was in the middle of a mental hell that lasted from 2001-2009 and was trying every and anything to get out of it, I decided in the beginning of 2005 that I wasn’t going to hang out with certain friends of mine that I was used to hanging out with for an entire year as a an “offering” or fast to God for Him to fix my life.

It wasn’t anything personal towards my friends, they’re all great people and I love them dearly. Rather, I figured that by not hanging out with people I spent a lot of my time with, there was a possibility that hidden parts of me would start to emerge due to the removal of external distractions that I would lean on because I didn’t feel comfortable being by myself.

As I think back, I’m astounded by how insightful that was because I was a bit of a mess.

Anyway, after the year ended, I was brimming with excitement at the beginning of 2006 anticipating all the wonderful things God was now going to do in my life and all the amazing breakthroughs that I was going to receive that I had been praying for.

The first occurrence I took as a sign that things were going to change was when I was changing in the locker room at the gym and my watch fell on the ground. When I picked it up, I saw that it was no longer working and decided to discard it, thinking to myself, ” Wow, this is a sign that new things are coming!”

Then, little by little, the rest of the jewelry I used to wear – my rings, bracelet, chain and earing – would either get lost or broken so I couldn’t wear them anymore.

No big deal right? After all it’s only jewelry.

I didn’t think of it as a big deal, but after that, my career as a real estate began to flop. Before, then, I had been on a streak of closing deals and I thought I was soon going to the next level, but it got to the point where I couldn’t close a deal to save my life.

Eventually, seeing the writing on the wall, I was felt forced to leave the industry towards the end of the year, broke and penniless and having to look for other work. I would return a little over 6 years later but that’s a whole other story.

It was totally humiliating and demoralizing.

Then, a little after leaving real estate, I found out my hair was thinning noticeably at the back of my head which was devastating to me because at that time, I was VERY looks conscious and still wanted to make it as a model. I thought my whole value as a human being was based on my looks.

Nonetheless, when I discovered my hair was thinning, I still had a hairline and my hair still grew very fast, so I figured I had another 5 years before I needed to shave it.

Nope.

A few months later my hairline had receded so badly I had to shave my head completely bald. The barber was shocked because he always knew my hair to grow fast and was in fact making fun of me about that two months earlier.

As a guy who put his whole value on his looks, I was depressed for three months and several times contemplated jumping out of a window. No joke.

So, within 15 months, I was stripped figuratively naked – no hair, no job, no jewelry and little to no money all on top of already being in a mental prison. My whole sense of self was taken from me.

Shortly after this, I would meet a woman who became a mentor to me. She gave me the advice to not look in the mirror or at my reflection for a week.

When I did this exercise, it began to dawn on my how much I based my ENTIRE self esteem and self worth on my looks because I noticed how I was always looking at my reflection in one form or another. I realized that I needed to extend this exercise from a week to several months.

Upon going back to my mentor and sharing with her what I discovered, she was pleased and told me that this was going to put me on the Path of connecting to the REAL me instead of the false sense of self I had based on my looks.

Because of this experience, I don’t care about my looks nearly as much as I used to.

Now, it gets weird from here so suspend your disbelief.

Shortly after, I would meet this “deliverance minister” who had his own church. I would have these private prayer sessions with him where he’d pull these dark energies from within me and induce in me an emotional catharsis that began to free me of the mental prison that I had lived in for 8 years.

Then, after meeting this guy, I was introduced to another one of these type of men. I eventually wound up going on a 6 week retreat with him and it was at this retreat where my mind was finally cleared and I felt mentally free for the first time in YEARS. I consider this time my rebirth.

What the hell was the point of my entire story?

My point is that things may seem to get worse before they get better because in order to build something new in your life, God, the Divine, the Universe, Source or whatever Higher Power you believe in has to tear down the old structure before building something new, and to build something new, He has to start with the foundation.

You can’t build a solid building on a faulty foundation nor can you add something solid to an already faulty structure.

Sugar on shyte is still shyte.

As you’re very well aware, the tearing down process is almost never pleasant, but it’s key to becoming a more sold, whole person.

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps,

Ike Love