The Viable Alternative

If you follow the “Manosphere” which is a collection of websites, blogs, YouTube channels, social media pages and profiles and online forums that deal with masculinity and men’s issues, you may have noticed that one of the hot topics of discussion of the day is the “high value man.”

The high value man is supposedly that guy that makes at least well into the six figures per year if not more, is at least 6 feet tall, is in great shape, and is well connected. Because this represents a small fraction of men, it puts them in high demand on the dating market because scarcity is supposed to increase value.

There are podcasts upon podcasts, blogs and articles that talk about the type of woman a high value man will or won’t date, the type of woman a guy like that will settle down with and marry, how a woman can land such a guy, what a man needs to do to become a high value guy, the traits and qualities of a high value man, etc.

Now, just like when you turn on the lights in a room you see all manner of roaches running for cover, the rise in popularity of this topic has sprouted all sorts of “interesting” behaviour.” (FYI, as I write this, I think I could’ve come up with a more accurate analogy, but I think you get the gist.)

• You see painfully obviously insecure men get on a podium with a bull horn and announce to anyone who’d listen how they’re high value men and how, because of that, women should drink their bathwater These guys are the ones who are likely to look down on other men who they perceive as lower value than them.
• You see equally insecure women who talk about how they’re entitled to a high value man because of a, b and c and that they won’t settle for less. Such women won’t give any guy that isn’t a high value man the time of day.
• You see hordes of men who have taken this criteria of what it means to be a high value man as gospel, and, feeling insecure that they don’t meet this criteria, break their necks trying to “level up” so they can enter into this exclusive club so that it can give them a sense of self worth. Tell tale signs of such people are their social media posts contain words such as hustle or grind in various permutations in their hashtags.
• You see social media influencers who rose to fame by evaluating other men as to how they measure up against a high value man, tearing down men for not raising their value as a man, and teaching them how to attain the high value status. They also evaluate women in terms of their chances of attaining that high value man and tear down some of these women for even having the “gall” to think such a thing.

Since unfortunately most concepts made for mass consumption wind up getting adulterated and dumbed down, with this heightened focus on the high value man to the point that it has become the holy grail, what has gotten lost on people is that being a high value man doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a high quality person.

There are many high value men who are complete douchebags and pieces of crap that no one in their right mind should want to associate with, but since they’re high value, they get the pass.

Just watch or read the news of celebrities and entertainers who despite their success (or maybe because of it), are shown to be liars, cheaters, law breakers, violent towards women, rude, unkind, narcissistic, drug addicts and just unhappy people.

Or think of some of the people you may have known or encountered in your life – an employer, a family member, a friend, or acquaintance – who along with being high value, has made yours and others lives miserable because they’re just awful people.

As a man, I think it is our duty to become successful, wealthy and physically fit so we can provide for and protect the woman we’re with, our families, our loved ones and the people we were meant to lead in the best way possible, but that’s not enough if we want inner peace, fulfillment and to set the proper example to make the world a better place.

To become a man who is high quality, we need to learn how to heal from our past trauma so we can become more whole, establish a connection with our Creator, connect to our Purpose, learn how to become grounded and embodied, learn how to deal with our emotions so that we don’t suppress them nor be reactive to them, learn to be dangerous but not a danger, seek to continuously grow and evolve, be kind, align with our core values, become self aware, and learn to connect to our true, core selves and let go of the mental idea we have ourselves that is based on the past, and external factors like material possessions, money, status and whatever else is used to measure a persons self worth.

A man who is able to cultivate these attributes to become a man of high quality will be able to attract a caliber of woman that a man who’s simply just “high value” will not be able to attract, and, should he seek to be high quality along with becoming “high value,” he will be more scarce, than the “high value man.”

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps.

Ike Love