The Viable Alternative

I’m smiling because within the past week, I’ve had the pleasure of two separate one-on-one conversations with two female friends (who coincidentally have the same name), who, after repeatedly getting in unhealthy romantic relationships for most of their adult lives, were each able to get into the most whole, healthy relationships of their entire lives. In fact, one of them invited me to her wedding. The other told me that it was like she met her soul mate.

Now, this is not the case where you meet a guy and you think he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, only to find that a month later you’re getting a restraining order against him, or you find a girl and think she’s wifey material, only to find six weeks later, she ran through half your crew. These women shared with me how they themselves each behaved fundamentally different in their recent relationships and not only were the guys they attracted fundamentally different as a whole, but also the relationships as a whole had a totally different dynamic than all their past relationships.

Sheesh, I’m still smiling. I love it when my friends are happy and are doing well.

They each shared with me how they took responsibility for the types of relationships and people they kept on attracting by hiring professional help to help them take a good look at what they went through in their childhood that made them make the decisions they made as adults and heal from the trauma that were at the root of these decisions. The result was that as they did the inner work, they gradually became more whole, which enabled them to eventually attract a whole relationship, rather than the broken, dysfunctional ones they kept on getting into.

Message to all the men and women reading this (and this includes this knucklehead writing this post as well), if you continue to blame all the past people you dated for the debacle relationships that you got involved in rather than take responsibility by dealing with your own past baggage that caused you to attract such people, I promise you that nothing will ever change. You will attract the same iteration in a different skin. I can come back to you 10, 15 years later and you’ll be in some type of similar relationship that you’ve always gotten into with a similar type of guy or girl.

Let us all deal with our shyte, so we can become healthy and whole and attract such in our lives.

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps,

Ike Love