What Happened to Your Fire?
Motivation is a great thing to have in life. It makes us want to do the things we need to get the results that we want in life. The tricky thing about motivation is that it comes and goes. There are times when although we want a particular result, we don’t feel motivated to do it.
Enter discipline. Discipline is an attitude that keeps us committed to doing things when we’re not motivated to do them. It is the proverbial “cart before the horse” where by starting to do something that we were initially not motivated to do but committed to nonetheless, oftentimes the motivation shows up.
However, even if we have the discipline to stick to something, that thing we’re doing will feel “mechanical” and be ultimately unfulfilling if there is not some passion lying underneath for why we’re doing the thing in the first place. Think about all the doctors and attorneys out there who had the discipline to stick to a coursework to obtain their careers, but because they were doing it to please their parents or seeking prestige from society at large, there is no genuine passion behind what they do for a living, and they feel like robots doing the same mundane routine day in and day out.
People pleasing or approval seeking is a powerful driver for discipline which fuels motivation, but there is a deeper fire that burns within that’s deeper and more powerful than these two things because it comes from the core of who you are. Some may call it passion, but I think it’s deeper than that.
It’s the fire that drives people to do the seemingly impossible things like transform their bodies from obese to fit, or fight to overcome a deadly disease that “experts” said they had no chance of surviving, or go from dead broke to wealthy, or achieve some amazing feat, or learn how to become great at something that they initially sucked at.
However, let me pose to you some questions…….
What if you don’t have that “fire?” What I mean is what if there are things that you want to do, have and achieve, but going beyond not just having the motivation to go after them, there is something else that you feel that is missing? When you mention it, people tell you that you’re being lazy, or making excuses, or that maybe that thing you say you want really isn’t for you because you don’t want it bad enough. On top of that, what if when you try go for that thing, it feels like you’re just going through the motions, with something blocking you from giving your “all” to going after that thing? What’s more, what if you know that you know that you know that you really want it because it’s on your heart, but something is blocking you from connecting to it?
Well, if you identify with these questions, then I feel you’re pain because I went through the same thing for years. I would remember times years before when I was REALLY driven to overcome or achieve something where I succeeded, and would wonder why I couldn’t muster up that same drive to improve other areas in my life that were important to me at the current time. Where was it? It also wasn’t a matter of it not being important enough to me, it was more than that. Something was truly missing.
Now, as I go through my healing journey, I’ve realized that some of us who experience this lack of drive are dealing with a lack of self expression. When we suppress ourselves, we suppress our “life force” or our unique energy signature that emanates from our core. We started this behaviour right from childhood when we were shamed, ridiculed or punished for doing something by an adult or someone in our peer group, and we took that to mean that there was something wrong with us, so we learned to suppress that aspect of ourselves in order to be accepted, loved, and to “fit in.” Then, as we got older, and dealt with breakups, disappointment, failures, etc. many of us would repeat what we learned in childhood, causing us to tighten our self expression even more.
This self suppression is often where lies the root of why we lack that drive to go after the things that we really want to go after, because when you suppress your authentic self, it has far reaching consequences in all other areas in your life in one way or another because as a living person, you bring your self (or lack thereof) with you everywhere you go and to everything you do. One part of your life cannot be affected by this without all of it being affected. Thus, that deep absence of drive you feel to FULLY act on your desires is a direct reflection of the extent with which you express your authentic self.
YOU are your drive, and it’s missing because you’re missing.
In order for you to bring that fire back into your life that will fully equip you to bring the desires of your heart into fruition, you have to be willing to embrace and release the real you.
This is The Viable Alternative.
Hope this helps,
Ike Love
