The Viable Alternative

Sorry, I’ve made it a point to post a blog a week, but instead of skipping one week, I skipped two…doh! Truth be told, I have actually been working on The Viable Alternative, but on other things and with my busy schedule, I couldn’t fit in the blog as well.

Anyway, we’re all aware of the feelings we get when we get something we’ve wanted for a long time, whether it be winning some sort of prize or accolade, achieving some goal or milestone we’ve set, buying the latest “toy” or piece of clothing that we’ve had our sights on for a long time, or receiving a certain amount of money. Feel good chemicals like dopamine rush through our bodies and we feel exhilarated, excited and happy. I kind of felt that way when I got my first smartphone after pathetically slogging away with a flip phone for years and years. It felt so cool to finally be in possession of something that did so many cool things and made life more convenient.

However, sooner or later, those chemicals die down, the “feel good” feelings follow suit, and we’re left once again with the feeling of our same old selves.

Now what if this “same old self” is miserable, angry, sad, lonely, unfulfilled or anything else BUT happy?

Pondering this has made me realize the Illusion of what we envy in others. In society, the fabulously rich, the ultra successful, the extraordinarily beautiful women, the ladies’ men, the A list celebrities, and the wildly popular people are admired and put on a pedestal because we imagine if we had what these people had or if our lives looked how theirs look, everything would be great.

Yet, when we look deeper into some of these people’s lives, beyond the lens of The Illusion that’s projected in magazines, television and social media, we read of many instances in these people’s lives of drug abuse, self loathing, attempted or successful suicides, eating disorders, alcoholism, unhealthy relationships, depression, anxiety etc.

What the hell?

The fact of the matter is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to achieve or acquire something externally because among other things, you want to bask in that feeling of that temporary exhilaration of having reached your goal, whatever that may be. There’s also nothing wrong with wanting to acquire or achieve something for the usefulness that thing or milestone provides.

For instance, being financially wealthy acquires you the tools to provide yourself and your family a comfortable lifestyle, effect positive change in the world, engage in your hobbies and passions, and take care of loved ones.

Buying a fancy sports car is a good way to pamper yourself and express your inner preferences especially if you’re a car aficionado.

Achieving a lofty goal in your chosen field is a way to challenge yourself to develop your natural gifts and become the person you need to become in order to attain that goal.

Being popular is not only a great way to gain favours and perks from others more easily, but it can also be an outlet of having great people skills and being a great giver.

Being an A-List actor gets you into some of the most exclusive clubs around the world, it gets you a lot of free stuff from people that want you to be seen in their stuff to legitimize their product and of course, it gets you a lot of the top directors and producers beating down your door to get you to be in their next movie.

However, if you’re generally an unhappy person, beyond receiving a temporary chemical rush from first acquiring or achieving that external thing, whatever it is, or receiving the external benefits that comes with that thing, you will not suddenly be made into a happy person.

Herein lies the problem. Most people on this planet are chasing or fantasizing about external things in hopes that they would relieve or alleviate their unhappiness. What they don’t realize is that unhappiness is an internal problem that’s due to unresolved pain within or a crappy attitude about life, thus the only thing an external thing can do is temporarily numb or mask whatever is making you unhappy, it can never eliminate it.

There are many, many, many people who become greatly disillusioned and slide in a deep state of despair and depression when they find out that reaching their goals didn’t magically make their unhappiness disappear. This is because when you expect from something other than what it’s meant for, disillusionment sets in.

The only thing that can eliminate your unhappiness is DIRECTLY dealing with whatever is making you unhappy. That may involve addressing your inner pain and finding out how to heal it, changing your attitude, taking an introspective look at your life which includes your surroundings, the people you associate with, your career, where you live, etc. and ask yourself if they’re a reflection of your heart’s desires or whether they’re a reflection of you just going through the motions of life, unconsciously doing what The Illusion told you you should do.

Whether it’s because they unconsciously don’t know they’re unhappy, or because they know but are afraid to do anything about it, most people on this planet are running around chasing one “high” to the next after the previous one dies down all to avoid dealing with or feeling their unhappiness, but of course, it never works. Funny, even the chase in and of itself is all a distraction put forth to avoid dealing with the unhappiness of one’s life.

As I seek to resolve my own money issues, I have to constantly hearken my mind back to the time when I had more money than I knew what to do with but was completely miserable, in order to put money in its proper perspective so that when I am blessed with an abundance of money again, I’m aware that though it may give me the added resources to do the things I want in life, it won’t magically solve all the inner work I need to do to be a happy person.

External things, whether it’s money, fame, success, etc, won’t EVER solve the inner issues that are keeping us from being happy.

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps,

Ike Love