The Viable Alternative

Do you ever feel stuck, stifled, or inhibited where you feel that there is charismatic, charming, confident person locked away inside of you and you can’t seem to access him?

You participate in a conversation, or you approach that woman you like, but when you want to fully express who you are, it feels like something is holding you back and instead, all you’re able to do is muster is some robotic, stifled, self conscious response.

It feels like you’re trapped in a mental prison and locked in some haze.

I know what it’s like because I lived it for a number of years, namely from 2001-2009. At times, it was so bad that I wanted to end my life.

As such, at times I can see and feel when others are going through the same thing.

There are quite a few reasons why this happens, but one of them is that you’re trapped in your head.

Now I know you may be thinking, “No sh*t Sherlock, I know that’s the issue.”

Well here’s the thing. In terms of understanding human beings, modern society, namely Western society is very segmented.

It separates the mind and the body. This is why when you have an issue with your stomach, you go to the gastroenterologist. If you have a problem with your heart, you go to the cardiologist. If you have a hormonal issue, you go to the endocrinologist, and so on and so forth.

Furthermore, it teaches that the mind is in your brain and all thinking and being comes from your brain whereas your body is a bunch of bones, flesh and tissue that holds up your head and supports the brain.

But let me ask you something: When you see athletes play sports, or dancers dance, or musicians play instruments, do you really think they’re thinking logically with their brains?

No, far from it. They’re just being, and by them just being, they’re flowing. Thinking in the way we think of thinking would just get in the way of what they’re doing.

There’s a cute little story a friend of mine once told me at the gym. A grasshopper once approached a centipede and asked it how it was able to walk effectively with all those legs. The centipede thought about it and fell down.

What I’m trying to say is that the mind and body are not separate, rather they’re one and intrinsically interwoven. This is why a person engaging in repeated negative thinking can cause disease in the body. It’s also why you can hear stories of people who, when they let go of deep emotional resentment, they wind up healing from some chronic ailment.

There are new sciences that have emerged such as psychoneuroimmunology and psyneuroendocrinology that address the mind-body connection.

In addition, our brain is not our only intelligence. Our body has an intelligence of its own. There are different nervous systems in separate areas of our body like our heart, our gut and our pubic area. They make their own decisions and send messages to the brain just as the brain sends messages to different parts of the body.

Your heart intelligence has to do with your ability to connect with someone, your curiosity and your compassion. Your gut, which has a nervous system the size of a cat’s brain, has to do with your instincts, intuition and self esteem, and your pubic area has to do with your creativity and passion.

When you connect your consciousness to different clusters of neurons, that’s when you get mind, i.e. a different type of “thinking.”

But when you center your consciousness solely in your head, you’re cutting yourself from all the different intelligences of the body. In terms of thinking, the brain’s main job is to collect and analyze data and make decisions based on that.

Indeed that is an important part in our day to day activity but it’s not all that we are. When you’re focused solely on that part of you, that’s when you become imbalanced.

People like this are what you call “heady.” They’re very analytical and intelligent but they also come across as stiff, stifled, and robotic.

Because they’re stuck in their heads, they’re disconnected from their bodies, and because they’re disconnected from their bodies, they can’t feel.

Yes, thoughts are the language of the brain, feelings are the language of the body. While the brain can analyze or interpret a feeling, it can only think. It can’t feel the sensations of a feeling. So because a person who’s stuck in his head can’t feel, he can’t be present, and therefore he can’t flow. He has to constantly make calculations in his head for what he should do.

This is fine when you’re solving a math problem, but weird when you’re in a social setting.

Flow comes with feeling, and to feel, you have to connect to your body.

If you find yourself stuck in your head, it could be due to some emotional trauma where your body is has stored some emotion from one or more past situations and you being in your head is a way to avoid experiencing these feelings.

Or you could’ve been brought up in an environment where people were very heady and detached from their bodies, and you picked up those habits.

Or you could’ve been raised in an environment where feeling and personal expression were frowned upon and being heady and intelligent were exalted.

Whatever the cause, to free yourself and become fully self expressed, you have to learn how to reconnect to your body. This may involve somatic therapy, psychedelics, breathwork, yoga, meditation or some other embodiment practice that will help you heal the emotions in your past while teaching and helping you to become more comfortable being in your body.

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps.

Ike Love